my whole life is falling apart and i feel so helpless. i have no one. all these people can be here, but no one really cares about me. i have no love. no best friend. no one to share life with. and at times like these i just want someone to hold me and be there. but everyone has their own lives to live…
I want to talk about my own mental health. Chances are, I won’t have the will power to share this with my friends/family. If anyone is somehow able to read this, please, just don’t judge me….
I have depression. I fight frequent anxiety attacks when trying to sleep. I have thought about suicide. I use the internet to block out the silence, the hollow feeling in my own brain. Books take me somewhere else, anywhere other than my own life.
When I go outside, and people try to politely talk to me,
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I hate that I’m a nice person. That’s really it. I’m nice to just about everyone, and I always forgive people. Even if I desperately want to hate someone, I physically can’t. I’m so plain and boring and all people ever call me is “nice.” I want there to be something more to me. “Nice” is all there is anymore and I give so much to other people that now I’m a walking train wreck but I keep giving because I feel guilty when I want to have something for myself because I’ve spent my whole life
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