Kitten,
I realize this is a tough month for you: one-year work anniversary (at a job that you love but which has long hours and below-minimum-wage pay) and the subsequent renegotiation of your contract, the impending divorce and your birthday. So I don’t really want to add to your drama. But why is it that I have to beg, plead, cajole and practically steal from you loving and caring remarks and gestures? How long does it take to say “I love you” or “I’m thinking of you” or “I
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I don’t get it. I must be an idiot or something because I can’t figure you out! You miss, you love me…you’ve even forgiven me… but you’re still leaving me?
I just don’t get it. I want to be with you, I love you. And you keep saying you miss me…so why? If you’re so lonely and you miss me and all, why aren’t we together?
You keep saying you’re messing things up, that it’s not my fault…but you won’t give me any explanation…no reason beyond it’s your fault.
Dammit
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In May you asked me to come home. You said we’d be ok, that we’d work thru everything. That you could and had forgiven me for what I’d done…
The next 5 months were rough- lots of arguing, lots of being alone because you were working or out with friends- drinking, embarrassed of me- we didn’t even have our own place…we had one room, in your brother’s house, with your entire family. I still felt guilty for what I’d done.
5 months since you asked me to come home, 5 months since I
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I’ve been an idiot. A complete fool. …and I can’t forgive myself for it,
My husband deployed for a year. He was in a hostile place and not allowed to talk about what he was going thru. I didn’t realize he wasn’t allowed to talk, I thought he didn’t want to talk to me…I got lonely…and started talking to a friend more often than I should have. We talked for months, and just over a month before my husband would be home, I messed up. My friend, became more than a friend. I cheated
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Forgive
Condemn