So I met this guy a few years ago but it didn’t go anywhere since he had a bf and I felt guilty cheating with him (even though he was on a sex app) Last year we ended up talking again, after he broke up with his boyfriend.
We have similar tastes, interests and things we like to do in bed.
Anyways, I grew to like him a lot after a while (after the sex and the friend talk we had. He helped me stay on after recent problems with my grandfather and a previous relationship).
We talked and
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I fell asleep last night in the arms of a man who could potentially be really good for me, and I dreamed about my ex. I woke up crying, and f*cked a guy who is falling for me just to get him out of my head. I thought I was ready to move on, but I’m not. I’m using somebody who looks at me the way that my ex used to, because it hurts too much to be alone anymore, and I feel guilty every single second. He wants to be with me, and I’ve told him I’m not ready because I got hurt so badly before -
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I hate the fact everyone in my life is in a relationship while I’m not (actually I’ve never been in a relationship or anything like that).
I’m feeling really guilty because sometimes I just wish everyone would break up, does that make me an awful person?
Every single friend I’ve ever made bar 1, I’ve gradually lost touch with and I dont even feel that guilty about it :S Every time I move schools/work, I make new friends, then I move on and make no effort to keep hold. Maybe I’m just not meant to have friends. Why does that not worry me more?