You never backed me up, or defended me. You always said my ideas were stupid and I’m not funny. When a rumor got to you that I called you a “fake-baking gross bitch” and you decided our friendship wasn’t true, it was one of the best moments of my life. You filthy slob. I was slowly trying to fade away from you. It’s a shame on how it’s going to be awkward and hateful when I see you with our friends, but at least I don’t have to deal with your over reactive, cry baby, never-takes-a-shower ass,
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I honestly just want to be happy. I have no idea why I can’t find happiness, I have my moments where im on top of the world then it seems like plummet down into an abyss. I dont know what im even doing in the military, I don’t think i belong here. Im just not sure what im looking for in life but I know its not this.
Sometimes I wish I could do it all again. I’d live through abusive stepfathers, middle school from hell, moving from place to place, depression and PTSD, all over again just so I could relive the short moments of bliss I found here and there that have long since gone away.
The year and a half I lived in New Mexico was wonderful. As a young girl, all I could think about was how happy I was there, even when my stepfather was wailing on my mother. When that man’s foolishness made us have to
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Ever have those moments of deep realization when you wish you could undo something you just did? I got an e-mail from my dad today thanking me for agreeing to take some pictures of his local choir before their performance, which I do every year. this year I told him I wasn’t planning on attending, and don’t remember telling him I would take the pictures.
I left him a blunt, rude voicemail telling him to find someone else, three hours before the concert.
He called me back, saying I had made a
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