Posted 20th August 2011 2815

It hurts so much. I’m such an idiot. Should have said something sooner. I see how you both look at each other. So jealous of the way you caress his face. Even at work i cant get away. I wish we were strangers instead of best friends. I confessed my feelings to you. Told me if i would have asked you out sooner things would have been different. We talk and text things we would never dare tell anyone else. I even told you about me leaving this town and going back to Atlanta. There is nothing for me here in this small town. You said no, don’t go stay and see what happens. We both looked at each other and both blushed. You cant hide it its so cute. You even came late to work one day with a different hair style. You always have your pony tail. I said it looked cute on you. You looked at me and smiled. My god your smile…It made my heart skip a beat. Then the next day you had the same style and we looked and smiled at each other. Like a secret between us. The smallest things you do make me smile.

We flirt when hes not around or not scheduled to work but then the next day i hear you tell him to drop out of going to the Marines so you two can be together. He leaves for basic training in a couple of months. Him leaving would just make things complicated. If i ask you out when he leaves i would just look so desperate. Taking advantage of my best friend leaving his girl to serve our country, that’s not me. He even joked to me about how do i feel about you two getting married on a text. I said that would awesome and great. But inside i feel like daggers piercing my chest. You give me way too many mixed signals. I don’t know what to feel anymore. I shouldn’t feel this way about you. I’m not the jealous type. Such an idiot i am…

Then you stopped texting me. I even deleted your number from my cell. It just feels so wrong to text anymore. I know you both love each other too much. Life was never complicated until this. Im such a loser. Oh well…

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