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Cry

Posted 2nd February 2014 1015

I feel so alone… my friends are all realy busy or well enough for me to dump my problems on them… My BF..(hmm,,) has been sort of distancing him self from me. no more “how was work?” “are you okay?” “can i come see you next week?” … always waiting for me to text him first…
i dont know what to do.. i’m stressed out with stuff for university, and he hasnt even tried to calm me down. told him about getting an interveiw to my FIRST choice uni… not even a well done.. i bet he forgets about my first interveiw and doesnt even wish me luck…


SOME TIMES I THINK HE IS WITH ME FOR THE SEX( not had sex in nearly 2 month and i have been ‘on’ for a full month now :[ fml)… i’m fat and ugly and tbh stupid.. i’m not gonna get into uni…


is it weird he always texts his bestfriend/ex gf with at least 3 x’s on the end. and hardly does to me his GF!!

(dont get me wrong i love her to bits like)

just he doest knw how stressed i am with work college and my brain wirring. I’m eating too much rubbish ( put on 20kg since sept), not sleeping/passing out, not drinking enough water/fluids, bingiing on alcholol more, not getting out of bed.

i dont know what to say to him other than “YOU STILL FUCKING LOVE HER… NOT ME.. I KNOW YOU DO! ITS OBVIOUS” i told him i thought i loved him.. and he put it down to me being drunk… i’d had 4 pints.( normally 8 or 10 for drunken ‘i love you’’s)

i still cry about that.. he doesnt know it. the amount of times ive gone back to feeling like i’m only there when he wants something is horrible.. like with my abusive ex.
its horrid..

i’ll never be as good as her… he will always want her.

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