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Absolutly useless


Posted 3rd August 2011 36

My mother has recently been in hospital, having heart attacks and a stint. I tried my hardest to help, to be the good daughter so she wouldn’t worry but it didn’t work. I mean yeah i did the cleaning helped with the kids and what not but she knew i was scared, she knew i wanted to scream on every other breath. I feel like i failed her, i should have been strong but i couldn’t hide that i was crying inside. My mother is the most important thing in my life, i really can’t live without her. I feel ridiculous feeling bad for myself and i know i should suck it up, but i cant seem to get out of this head space, i could have lost her and i cant deal with that. She’s the strongest woman i know but this happened to her, what if something else happens or it happens again.. i don’t think i can cope. I haven’t told her that i feel this bad because i dont want her to worry, but i just want to cry all the time and hug her so hard and make sure she’s never hurt again. I apologised for being needy at the hospital but its still hard not to try and wrap her up in cotton wool. I can’t loose my mum.

useless needy

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