Posted 2nd June 2014 1620

I’ve spent years of my life trying to get you to like me. It eventually worked out. I’ve done everything in my power to make sure our long distance relationship can work out. I’ve flew, drove, took a train, spent money I didn’t have to make sure I could make you happy. We’ve been together almost two years, and in that two years, I feel like we’ve become further apart than when we first met. I know I messed up a couple of times during our relationship, and I hurt you emotionally. That was never my intention. I never mean to hurt you with anything I do, but I seem to always push you away. I’ve only lied to you once in the eleven years that we’ve known each other. You ignore me. You’ve told me you ignore me. Well, actually that last part wasn’t supposed to happen. You ignored me for two days, and I hopped in you Skype group as you were telling them. You go out and party and drink, and God knows what else you do now. I know you smoke pot, even more than your “only a couple of times around people I can trust” story. You ended up in the fucking hospital, because you got mad at me, and smoked and drank yourself unconscious You spend all your time with your friends and ex-partners. Why would you expect me to be okay with you getting drunk with people you used to fuck, or tried to fuck you even when I was there, when you won’t trust me when I say “I’ll be back in a minute. I’ve got to go to the store”? I’ve never cheated on you, or on anyone for that matter. You openly admitted to cheating on one of your ex’s. How do I know you don’t cheat on me? You compare me to him when you’re pissed with me, which happens all the time. I’m nothing like that piece of shit that calls himself a human. You don’t talk to me. I have to beg and plead for you to even spend a minute talking to me. We used to talk for hours on end, and send thousands of texts a week. I’m lucky if I get two texts a day, and twenty minutes on the phone a week with you. I miss you with all my heart, and I’m afraid I’m gonna lose myself trying to hold onto you.

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