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Am I wear I want to be?

Spook

Posted 12th June 2014 719

When I graduated highschool I had no idea how far or short I would come in life. I was a lazy, over weight, recluse, had low self esteem and I’m pretty sure I was and am suffering from some kind of depression. Well I lost a bunch of weight when I found some new friends who were a little more active and I lost a lot of weight and ended up getting the great idea of joining the army. So I did that made it 8 weeks 3 days and they sent me home for pt. I wasn’t over weight at that point just was weak. Now 2 years later. I don’t even know what I want out of life. I tried college. It was ok but ended up dropping out my first semester. Photography is something I find challenging and i also like getting artsy with some times. With getting kicked out of the army I feel I lost a lot of the confidence I gained before I joined I also gained about half my weight back. I don’t blame the army but I really wish I could. I often feel lonely but soon after feel as though no one wants an out only shape cute chubby guy because I think my body is gross. But I can’t bring my self to do any thing with it. My motivation and drive are all but lost. In the six months before joining the army I had my first kiss. I lost my virginity. I had my first beer. There were a lot of firsts. Now I’m not sure where to go or start or where I want to end up.

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