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Anxiety

Burn

Posted 29th April 2013 1016

Every time I have a deadline this happens. I see bubbles and ’shooting stars’ everywhere, sometimes it looks like it’s raining everywhere or sparks are shooting off everywhere or I’m looking through boiling water. I see spiders that don’t exist and scream/ shake myself to get them off and look like a freak. I feel things that aren’t there, like I’ll put my hand on a surface and it’ll feel like I’m touching slime/ a spider and retract in horror, only to look down and realise it’s totally clean. When I sit or lie still it feels like insects are creeping all over my skin. My jaw hurts, my head hurts, my back is fucked and I shiver and my hands and feet go ice cold. I get really hungry and sick, panic, stuff my face then can’t hold it down and throw up. I stare at walls for hours, or can’t keep still. I get rashes. I go dizzy, or have panic attacks. I start thinking I have something physically wrong with me, like parasites or diabetes or some infection. I often think I’m insane. Am I insane? It helps to tell myself it’s just stress but I can never get rid of the nagging feeling that it’s something much worse.

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