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I feel terribly alone. I feel disconnected from everyone; cut-off. I feel like I don’t belong - here at work, at home, around family - everywhere. I feel unwanted; like a “lesser-than”. I feel people don’t want me around unless I do something useful, or am funny or smart - unless I earn my place.
I’m also angry and depressed; I screamed so loud yesterday that I hurt my throat and ears, but I cannot cry. The weight of these tow feelings are making me very tired and legarthic. I cannot rouse myself, prayers are just disconnected words.
Why am I so angry & depressed? Because I am an addict and sometimes I find myself impotent. How ironic. Why am I loaded with these two burdens? The most terrible of all burdens. Unaccepted by society; scorned; frowned upon. How can God give me this? How can he expect me to bear it? How can he watch me shrivel day by day.
I pour hot my complaint to Him. Like the psalmist, I cry out the same prayer of grief and hope.
Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter,
you will restore my life again;
from the depths of the earth
you will again bring me up.
I will be glad and rejoice in your love,
for you saw my affliction
and knew the anguish of my soul.
It is your Word, your promises that have carried me and will continue to carry me.
Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my.
I am a broken man and God is my only hope.
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Posted by It’sAMeMario 5th August 2012
Well you’re sure getting attention from other Jesus-freaks. Lucky you, huh?Post a confession or rant now! It’s completely anonymous.
Posted by GiveYourSelfAChance 24th July 2012
Um if you believe in God and believe your a child of God, then fuck you can do anything.My Dad does not run my life, he started it and helped me grow up but man I don’t blame him for shit.
So it is with God, you are capable and all powerful child. So you’ll figure it out.