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Constantly used as the whipping boy (girl) by my stepdaughters.

Posted 14th January 2009 73

I have 2 biological children and a good relationship with my ex-husband.

My husband has 4 daughters 29, 24, 16 and 7.

My husbands ex-wife stalked me, physically attacked me and raged a hate campaign against me for no other reason than her ex had moved on with his life and met me (18 months after they separated).

We now have a current AVO against her and her physical attacks and stalking have stopped.

She has instead resorted to continuously using her own children as weapons against us by filling their heads with a whole lot of rubbish and then setting them up to phone and abuse us etc.

II keep the peace though and say nothing, I really avoid anything to do with her.

The real hurt comes now from my 3 oldest stepdaughters who either treat me with indifference or hurl abuse.

My husband has set some boundaries but unfortunately does not seem to be too good and enforcing anything. Guilt gets in the way and he is a real soft touch.

No matter how many times I turn the other cheek it seems to get slapped. Nothing I do seems to be good enough. They treat complete strangers in the street with more respect than they do me.

They agree, I’ve done nothing wrong, but have admitted that they find it hard to bond because they feel it will upset their mother.

I can understand how they feel, but I am really struggling with the fact I am a completely innocent party in their parents divorce yet I am treated like I am an invader.

Like I have zero rights, simply because I am their fathers new wife.

I’m so over it I’m ready to walk. This has been going on for 5 years now and nothing has improved.

Yes I knew I was getting into a relationship with a man who had children. What I didn’t realise was I would be treated as though I am invisible.

I have tried. I really have, but now wonder why I should continue to subject myself to more of the same.

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Comments

Posted by Anonymous 17th January 2009

This is a very difficult situation, and my heart goes out to you. However, maybe it’s time for you to take a proactive approach. You said that the children admit that you’ve done nothing wrong, so there is still hope in finding a positive resolution. Take your step children to a counselor, or some neutral party that they can talk to (it can’t be an easy situation for them either), and take steps to minimize the negative impact their biological mother is inflicting on the situation. Social services might be interested to know what their biological mother has been up to.

Posted by Anonymous 17th January 2009

I agree with the above, thats really awful whats happening to you, I hope your situation improves, good luck!

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