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I am 17 this year and I really can’t deal with my parents. They deliver violent threats whenever I do something wrong, set unrealistically high expectations and control every aspect of my private life. Around them, I feel oppressed, deprived of every choice making rights. They won’t ever admit that they were wrong, including the 4 years of twice-a-week beatings I had to suffer from when I was 9 to 13 years old. They passed the whole ordeal off as ‘beatings for discipline’ but in reality, I never knew what was going to set them off, as they had hit me once for not answering a question within a time frame. I have no one to turn to, partly because I don’t trust friends sometimes and low-ego made me feel like I’m just burdening them with stupid things.
Right now I just feel lonely and confused; I don’t know who to trust as my supposedly ‘most loving’ parents only would humiliate and make fun of me more if I tell them about any trouble I had went through. This made me wary of physical contact, made me inclined to bury every emotion I experienced 6 feet under and made me itching to shut myself out. Matters only became worse when I started having a gay crush on one of my schoolmates, which I am positive my parents would definitely not accept. I really don’t know what to describe this feeling, it’s not depression, I don’t feel sad, I just feel as though I somehow am devoid of emotions anymore.
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Posted by Person 4th October 2016
I know it is hard but you’ve got to believe that someday you’re parents won’t be there and you’ll be living on your own. Life is sometimes like a dark, scary street that you’re walking down but someday you will turn a corner and be going down a bright, happy street. You just need to believe things will be different someday and someday they will be.