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Dear God, What the Hell have I done?

Confused

Posted 4th September 2011 2127

I’ve been an idiot. A complete fool. …and I can’t forgive myself for it,
My husband deployed for a year. He was in a hostile place and not allowed to talk about what he was going thru. I didn’t realize he wasn’t allowed to talk, I thought he didn’t want to talk to me…I got lonely…and started talking to a friend more often than I should have. We talked for months, and just over a month before my husband would be home, I messed up. My friend, became more than a friend. I cheated on my husband. I got pregnant. I started to leave my husband. When he came home he explained why he didn’t talk, why he didn’t always say he loved me. I felt stupid. I don’t want to leave. He said I could stay, that we’d work thru this and he’d be the father of my child. I don’t want to be with my friend, I want to be with my husband. I love my husband, I always have, I always will. So it’s been a few months…I’ve been trying to fix things, to work thru this. He’s been going out every weekend clubbing, coming home drunk or tipsy… He told me he wants a divorce and that he still loves me but doesn’t think he can forgive me, that he’s done trying, done being angry. I asked for some time and he agreed I could keep trying till then…
But how can I get this to work if he’s not going to try too?
I know he’s under alot of stress, but going out doesn’t help us at all. I don’t expect forgiveness for a very long time…but I expect him to at least try some before giving up. Am I wrong to think that we have a chance?
A little perspective please…

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Comments

Posted by Moi 8th September 2011

Even if he does stay, he will ALWAYS resent the child. Sometimes we just have to live with our mistakes. If he means that much to you, give the child up for adoption. But don’t expect him to raise the guy’s kid you cheated on him with. It equates with cruel and unusual punishment.

Posted by ~~~ 9th September 2011

So just an update… my husband and I are trying, really trying. I’m fixing some stuff I’ve been doing wrong and he says he’ll be home more and put more effort into it. :) I’ve asked him about the adoption thing, it was one of the first things I mentioned when I found out I was prego, he is completely against it. Things are getting better. Hopefully this will work out, I know it will take a long time and be very hard, but I hope he and I get thru this.

Posted by Just a thought 25th September 2011

The two of you may want to consider couples counseling. This is certainly a difficult situation you find yourselves in, but its not an impossible one. Couples counseling may help the two of you sort through those unspoken issues you have with each other. He may even be carrying stress from his time in combat that needs to be addressed. You may have some unresolved issues that caused you to cheat. (Cheating is very very rarely caused by only one issue) So while you certainly can work things out, it seems best to do it throughly once and for all so you can bring that child and all future children into a happy home.

Like I said, just a thought.

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