Posted 14th January 2017 1826

Your Marriage is far from perfect, we get it. you guys getting a divorce was the most logical thing to do after so many years of constant fights, anger and sadness. I’m cool with your divorce but the least you could’ve done was talk to me about it. I lived abroad and came home to a house that doesn’t even feel like home anymore, suddenly you guys were no longer together.
Dad, you didn’t even tell me the reason as to why you divorced mom, but hey, i figured it out long before you guys even fought your last war. Somehow i’ve always thought about the possibility of you knocking out some woman other than mom, and when it came true i was not surprised, well maybe a little bit because i didn’t really think that it would actually happen, but it did. You might say the reason why you guys split up was because of mom, but please, we both know your mistake was bigger. I couldn’t say anything to you regarding this matter because i am afraid of you. In my mind you are this cold-hearted person who is able to abandon his own flesh and blood the second you feel at disadvantage or when you’re no longer heard. I still need you for my education so i keep quiet. Don’t get me wrong, i don’t hate you but i just wish you could be more like a father to me and less like my benefactor. Somehow i can never talk to you freely because of your intimidation and your quick to judge personality. Other than my academic results, you have never shown any interest of my life. And the words you said aren’t always nice and they hurt me, you were the biggest bully in my life but i can’t blame you since you’re my father. And the way you treat my brother is also not right, you disown him because he did not meet your expectations however he is still your son. I am haunted by the thought that i might lose the privileges i have now if i make the same mistake. Everyone keep saying that i am your favorite daughter, that you spoil me the most. Though to me, i would rather having a father i can talk to, a father who has my back when i am feeling down rather than a father who buys me whatever i want. I cannot cry in front of you because you’ll think i’m weak and a crybaby. I cannot have an argument with you because it’s scary when you raise your voice. I cannot tell you my struggles at school because you don’t care. Sometime i don’t feel like i have a father at all. We used to be so close when i was much younger. What happened?
I come back for the holiday and you brought that bitch home with the daughter you kept in secret. I do not hate the child, i hate the mother. The bitch doesn’t even talk to me nor greet me nor introduce herself to me. She acts as if i don’t exist. Sure you won my father’s heart bitch, and you got him paying for your daughters’ school even though they aren’t his. You got him taking you to places you could never afford, I’m not cool with that. He took you and your daughters for a vacation and i spent my vacation alone. Sure it was nice going overseas alone with friends but it just makes me feel like i no longer have a family. I won’t get to travel together as a family ever again. I might act like i don’t really care but deep down it sucks. Dad, you once said to me that once you get a divorce, you won’t marry another woman. But you lie, like you always do. It’s what you do best. I can’t trust you. Though I can’t trust you either mom, you always twist the story around to make yourself the victim. And you always conveniently forget things that you said that puts you at disadvantage.
I think about killing myself everyday but that will just bring satisfaction to that bitch and those f%ckers who hate me. So i’ll just show them what i can be.
Now i’m just a stranger in my own house. Thank god i live abroad.
And by the way, i’m bisexual. But obviously that’s revolting to you guys. Mom even thinks that it’s a sickness, but it’s effing not! I’m proud of what I am.

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