Posted 14th July 2016 1521

Dear shit friend,

You are a shit friend. And when I say shitty, I mean real shitty. There isn’t a type of shit in the world that can describe how shitty you are. The shittiest, shit in the word couldn’t produce a shit so shitty that can describe the shitty-ness of you. You’re not a shit person (ah well maybe) but you really are a shit friend.

But how could someone, especially you be this shitty!? Well of course! Since you’re such a shit friend you can’t even see how shitty you actually are! HA!

Shitty example 1: It was My birthday. The 1/365 days where I treated like a goddess. I had to ask if you were free and I requested that I wanted to see ‘Finding Dory’. You had already seen Finding Dory so I had to pick another one. No big deal even tho the next week you were happy to see it again with another one of your friends and it wasn’t even their birthday. You rock up late and give me my ‘present’. It was a bunch of random things that you found in your room and I had ‘seen’ before in your room LAST year.
You didn’t even seem happy to be with me. For my birthday you could’ve seemed a little enthralled to be in my presence.Once the movie was over you couldn’t wait to get out of there and go home.
I didn’t receive any birthday message from you until 12, hour before we were going to meet because you just ‘woke up’ but had been online for 3 hours. I get ‘happy birthday you sexy child’. Woo. For your birthday I texted an essay on why I am so glad you’re in my life. I also went to fb to post a5 min vid on our friendship which took me hours. I put my heart and soul into it. Maybe I was expecting a little something back in return. However you did post a video. It was a flipagram.
For your birthday I made you a delicious cake that I stayed up really late perfecting it. I had a meltdown when my grandparents ate a piece thinking that you would hate me forever. For my cake it had to be vegan. What a trek. Not using animal products omg such a downer. Why do I have to be so difficult I KNOW. It wasn’t fucking vegan. I couldn’t eat it. To be honest the cake was a pretty accurate representation of how shitty of a friend you are. You put in no effort. I know you had never made a cake like that before but still. You put marshmallows on it. If you had cared about me you would’ve thought that maybe some ingredients might not be vegan before.

Shitty e.g. 2: I must always text, snapchat TALK to you first otherwise we will not speak. You see me walk into school and don’t bother saying ‘good morning’ but if it’s the reverse I will come and talk “good morning sunshine!’ and ask about your morning etc. It isn’t the best feeling when no one not even your closet friend wants to talk to you in the morning or ever.

Shitty eg 3: When we are together we joke about how bad our lives are. It’s banter. It’s funny. It’s not really when you do it though. You know that me and my mum don’t get along. We joke about it but when I say it jokingly e.g.: ‘oh we hate each other ahahah’ *banterish laughter. You respond with ‘yeah your mum doesn’t love you’ *the most serious and meaningful thing you ever said. You meant it 100 per cent. That’s not how it works you should joke and be like ‘don’t worry about it or like at least you’ll always be there for your mum’ or something but not that!You are really shit at comforting people. I always end up feeling worse about myself if I ever confide in you. I can’t trust you with my feelings and that is the worst particularly when I went through a really rough time I couldn’t even tell you a little bit.

Shitty eg 4: The prank call. You shouldn’t of done it but we’re human It’s done, it’s over with. You took it too far. You saw the effect it had on me and didn’t try to make it better. You’re apology wasn’t genuine and you didn’t mean it. You didn’t look me in the eye. That’s why I am mentioning it because I just didn’t believe you and I guess you never really tried to redeem yourself. I didn’t see one once of guilt in you.

Shitty eg 5: We were so close. We did everything together but you got another friend and you just left me. I get it but you completely left me in the ocean to drown without an explanation. You left me for no reason. Is it because you found someone new to make yourself look better next to. You were the blonde to my brunette. You found another brunette to replace me with someone to make yourself look better.

After all this I have discovered that you were a lot more important to me than I was to you. I now know that you actually don’t want to be my friend.What an even shittier way of doing it than telling me. You are more than just a shitty friend, you are a shitty person.

Shit, I went through a real tough time and you couldn’t care less.

Sincerely, a less shittier ex-friend.

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