Posted 5th May 2012 1722

Three years ago, when I was in the midst of a whirlwind of friends in my circle marrying off and planning the rest of their lives in coupledom, I would have been among those for whom the question ‘Would you like to have kids?’ would have been a no-brainer. Now, I’m not so sure. Since then, I’ve changed countries twice, FINALLY got a job that’s related to my degree (an apprenticeship that pays a stipend, but hey, we’re in a recession), broken up with the boyfriend of 7 years (it fizzled out; distance was a major factor) and I now currently live with my aunt, her daughter and four girls under the age of eight. The little cherubs, I must admit, have me consider whether it wouldn’t be better to adopt a teenager (or maybe tie my tubes). They want the attention of any adult in the room ALL THE TIME. Apparently, this is normal. Tantrums, ditto. They refuse to flush the toilet. They refuse to cover their mouths or noses when they cough or sneeze, and will happily wipe their noses on the back of their hands and then ignore personal space. You have to beg them to say ‘please’ or ‘thank you’ or ‘good morning’. You have to beg them to wash their hands please. Lately, I’ve become a hermit, hiding from them in my room and locking the door, because they don’t understand boundaries either. They pick fights with each other til their mother is screaming at them. They whine. They ask for food like they’re starving, take one bite and leave the rest on the plate. They won’t clear their plates. They can’t hear the television unless it’s on LOUD. They can’t talk to each other unless it’s to shout and scream. They’re training the 8 month old to scream and she’s getting quite good, actually. Their favourite phrase seems to be ‘look at me’, even when it’s things that they KNOW they will get them shouted at, like jumping from a very high surface to a low one. Any attention is good attention, it would seem. I am grateful for their bedtime and for school nights. Lately, their mother and grandmother seem to think it cool to ask me to ‘just keep an eye on them for a bit’ and then disappear for two to three hours. More fool, me. I thankfully have not developed a nervous tic yet. They can’t understand that you are tired and don’t want to play or to watch yet ANOTHER film and just want to be on your own. They even resist reading quietly; probably wonder what’s the point, as there’s no attention to be had there.

I am hoping against hope that this is just the phase that they’re in and that I’m not some child-hating woman. I don’t think I am, but I am starting to resent being cooped up in a small space with these ‘cherubs’ and thinking that planning to be away most weekends might not be such a bad idea…. I’m only ranting on here because until I get permanent employment, I’m pretty much stuck here.

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