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Escape

Confused

Posted 16th September 2012 08

I am trapped with a girl that I love and hate, that I want to fuck and can’t stand to touch. We don’t agree on anything. Manipulation is part of her character that cannot be disassociated. She literally IS manipulative and controlling, yet has a good heart. She is frustrated with her own inherent selfishness, and it is this desire to change that keeps me in this. However, desire does not change who she is. She is still volatile and manipulatve and controlling. I don’t know how to escape it. She’s the type that will do all she can to hurt and ruin me if we brake up. She gets her way. She’s always gotten her way. She is stubborn, and there is no talking to her. She hates creatives, and I am one. She is closed, and I am open. I cannot escape.

She is self aware, yet completely unaware. I do not understand her. She seeks to be completely dominant, and when I put my foot down, she acts as though I a evil and beat women.. Anyone who knows me knows that I am easy going, but she runs me over. I tell her that, and she apologizes. She tries to be better, but better still sucks. It’s the trying that keeps me here. She acknowledges that we’re wrong for each other, yet won’t leave.

I want out of this.. I want to take back the last eight months. I want to burn that first kiss from my memory. I want to escape and be myself again.

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