Posted 27th September 2014 28

Unlike most, I didn’t think my first love would one day just be my first love of many to come. I thought he was my first love and would forever be mine. I knew of him and his family nearly my whole life and our relationship was completely unplanned and out no where. He is 2 years older than me and we ended up going to the same concert, we hung out there and after that he pursued me. I fell in love with him so quick and he did too. I was completely shocked I knew he had a past of being a real douche but he was just so sincere to me. I swear I wasn’t being naive it took awhile for me to finally trust him but I did. I had some of the best times of my life with him in just a year. We dealt with distance before but as soon as I went away to college it all got so much harder. Now here I am crying myself to sleep because he hates me. I messed up my first night in college and got way too drunk at a frat party. I ended up crashing at a fraternities on the couch and failed to tell him that because I was terrified. That all it was, I slept on a fraternities couch because I was way too drunk. I lied to him and then hours later told the truth. He said some really hurtful things but we got through it. Ever since then everything changed, he was on my ass about everything. And as soon as he suspected something he would rip me apart and say all those hurtful things again. The first few times this happened, I deserved it and I understood but after a month or so its really just getting to me. He’s mad at me right now because I put a “selfie” up on instagram. This is absolutely ridiculous and I can’t do this. I don’t deserve this. I’m completely broken and mentally exhausted, I never wanted a relationship in the first place because of this exact reason. Yet the thought of living my life without him doesn’t feel right at all. I’m so fucking pissed!! He’s never treated me like such shit and not talked to me for this long and I don’t know what to do. It’s the weekend, he’s going out at his school and he’s not even talking to me so everything that he could be doing is racing through my head. I don’t think he would really do this to me but he won’t fucking talk to me.

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