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Posted 12th January 2016 411

I am bullied often by a girl at my school. Thing is, she is in my old friend group. They really didn’t notice what she did to me, so they didn’t help me. Now, I’m leaving that school at the end of the month.
All of a sudden two of the girl have noticed how badly I was treated and how awful the other girl is.
They promised me that they would help me socialize with the group again. As, since the bulling started a year ago, I closed myself off very tightly and stopped socializing with anyone. And I had known these people for 1.5 years.

Yet, every time I try to talk to them, socialize or anything, they still don’t notice me.

Sadly, the person I’m closest to I only met a few months ago. And the person that understands me the best I only started talking to a few weeks ago.

I am always so afraid that I’m the problem. That it is my personality that makes people treat me so badly. Honestly, I’m a quiet bookworm, with a sharp mouth and a bit of a red-head temper. Yet, I always seem to fade into the wall. I tell people that I enjoy being alone, but I am so sick of being alone. I am desperate for someone to be an honest friend to me. Loneliness crushes my soul, and I cry almost every night. I can’t keep convincing myself that I enjoy this. Humans are social creatures, but the only human voice I hear is from YouTube.

It seems that most girls my age are looking for boyfriends. But, I honest feel like I am so broken that I don’t want to make someone deal with me when I can’t deal with myself.

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