Posted 18th July 2015 1629

K here’s the thing. I have friends. I’m not the type of person to complain about not having friends when I actually do. I’m not picky with who I befriend either. But the friends that I have are all over the internet. When I say I don’t have friends, I mean friends in real life where I can see them everyday and hang out with them every day and not struggle on a certain date and time we can see each other due to distance and time differences. I love my internet friends though, don’t give me wrong. But these certain ones. They…okay, I met them on Instagram two, maybe three years ago. And we’ve been good friends since then, but ever since I’ve met them all, I always feel out of place and not exactly wanted by them most of the time due to me not being as “cool” or “experienced” as them, ya know? One thing we all like to do in our group chat on Kik is troll people who join. It’s fun, it’s funny, we make friends out of it sometimes. But me? I troll, but not as hardcore as them. They are rude with trolling. They’re mean with trolling. When they troll, they go overboard many many many times. This is my issue. I love these guys but they are fucking mean. And sometimes they’re mean to me, and I leave the group for about a week or two and then I join back because I miss them too much. At that point, they’re all “awww why’d you leave?”, “we missed you”, “where have you been?” and I feel like they generally care about my feelings, ya know? But how can I feel as if they care about me and still be afraid to express my true feelings to them? I want to tell them how I want them to chill a little bit with the trolling. I want them to know when it’s okay to troll sometimes and when it’s not okay, and that doing it every day is fucked up. I’m not like them, but then again that’s what I love so much about being their friends. I’m not sure what point I’m trying to make with this rant. But it feels a little bit better for me to get this off of my chest, even if no one is there to really read about it.

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