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Fucked Up Ex

Cry

Posted 21st November 2014 921

Hey, so this is my first time posting anything on this website or any website like this for that matter but I have no one to talk to about my recent convo with my ex. First et me start by saying that he and I had a long distance relationship and he was the one who pushed it, plus he knew that because of physical abuse I endured in my childhood I’m not too eager to have people touch me easily. Fast forward to the last couple of months of our relationship he went into a coma and I spent months crying and praying for him to get better and thank goodness he eventually did however this fucking asshole breaks up with me the minute he starts talking to me again. About a month later he convinces me to get back together so I do take him and he starts talking about our future and he says he will move to where I live if we can live together so I told him that since we had never had any kind of physical contact (and because I was going to college and had already paid for my dorm) that I was more comfortable with living in the dorms at first and then later we could live together but that I wanted to start from scratch (physically) cause I didn’t want him to expect me to jump his bones the second he landed, but apparently that didn’t satisfy him so he dumped me. Weeks later he drunk texts me that he only ever dated me to have sex with me. AND THEN HE CALLED ME FUCKING CRAZY AND A LIAR WHEN I NEVER LIED TO HIM WHILE HE LIED SOOO MANY TIMES. I JUST CAN’T, LIKE MY HEART IS BREAKING SO MUCH BECAUSE HE LET ME FALL FOR HIM. HE MADE ME BELIEVE HIM AND THEN HE TORE MY HEART INTO PIECES!!!!!!! The worst part is that I was willing to give him my virginity pretty fast too because I thought he loved me. I almost wish I had and I know how messed up that sounds but I really loved him. Love. And I thought he cared, I thought he saw me, you know? like really saw me. I wish he would have given me a chance to be there for him, but he’s just a selfish ass. BTW the first thing he did was sleep with a bunch of different girls. I don’t understand why he ever even made me trust him! WHY WOULD HE DO THAT! I JUST DON’T FUCKING UNDERSTAND ANYMORE. AND I AM SO DONE, I AM SO SO SO SO DONE. Also my grandfather died last week… and he was the last one alive and my ex didn’t even ask how I was doing. MY HEART IS BREAKING AND IT HURTS. Tbh I really want to die right now, but there’s no easy, painless way to kill yourself so I won’t even try. Although I might die of a broken heart… I wonder what messed it up. Was I not good enough? Am I not pretty or sexy enough? How could he walk away so easily? and move on?

Okay I’m sorry for ranting so much but I just really needed to get this off my chest.

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