Posted 19th January 2012 38

If you are able to afford an internet/3G/4G network, you must be blessed enough to be given a proper education. However, the majority of Internet users feel the need to, oh I don?t know, give off the idea that they?re illiterate?

1. Your vs You?re:
Seriously? You shouldn?t be making this mistake. ?Your? is used as a POSSESSIVE PRONOUN. I especially DESPISE this grammatical error; it?s been committed (and corrected by Grammar Nazis such as I) too many times that it?s not even amusing. It never was, but it makes me want to shriek a blood-curdling scream at the top of my lungs and perhaps scold you even more. ?Your so cool.? Oh yeah, I?m just going to go to the park with my ?so cool? and maybe play a little bit of basketball! Oh, and maybe we can sneak into a movie or something. Goodness. Don?t you start arguing with me that ?It?s shorter, though.? Please, your fingers are not going to fall off just by typing TWO CHARACTERS.


2. Should of and should have:
First and foremost, the words ?should? and ?of? are NEVER to be put side-by-side. Please do not. It?s just wrong. Secondly, ?f? is usually pronounced as a ?v? when the singular form of a word that ends with ?f? or any word that remotely resembles the sound it makes, becomes plural. Thirdly, ?of? IS NOT A VERB, NOR WILL IT EVER BE.

3. Its and it?s:
When there is an apostrophe, pretend it?s the tittle of the letter ?i?. Say it, then: itis. It?s = it IS!! You cannot type, ?Melanie its Friday?; yeah, Melanie, get with the program! Something owns Friday. Maybe Lord Voldemort, or your boyfriend Kevin, or maybe Buzz Lightyear owns ?Friday?? But you know, I don?t really know whose ?Friday? it is?

4. Would it maime you and scar you for life if you put some punctuation every now and then?:
Do NOT overdo it. That is just ridiculous . ! Omg!?.?=+* No. That is not cool. Take your pick: is your sentence a question, an exclamation point, or a period? Or maybe it?s an interrobang?! Don?t combine a period with an exclamation point, nor attempt to mold it with a question mark. It doesn?t make you look attractive; it just makes you appear much more of an imbecile.

5. Capitalization won?t hurt you:
In fact, it hurts ME that I see these lousy, ?quick? text messages without proper capitalization more that pressing Shift and a letter simultaneously more than typingwith a bloody capital letter where it is due.

6. Neologism is cool and all, but SWDYHTMAFAFE? INGTCO:
*sigh* Neologism is cool and all, but seriously, why do you have to make a frigging acronym for everything? It?s not going to catch on.

There are so many other issues to address, but this one takes the cake for me.

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