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How to trust again

Question

Posted 30th November 2008 312

I have dated this guy for about 3 yrs and we have been broken up for almost 2yrs. The thing is we keep coming back to each other no matter who we have dated and well we are pending getting back together but how can I trust him though? Don’t get me wrong I love him with my entire soul and I do want a life with him and vise versa, but I a terrified to be given empty promises agian. We have been taking for about two months now from not speaking for 6 months no contact what so ever. Ne suggestions? How can I put aside the past and love him again?

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Comments

Posted by Yoshi 30th November 2008

you know.. i totally feel and know what you’re going through specially coming from the opposite sex and side. my take on it is this, if you’ve never been able to trust a person of this type, you do one of two things, either you move on and seriously forget him and make sure you don’t get weak a while after, or you actually wait and hope he’d grow up and somewhat mature up and realize your value and hopefully at that turning point, i’ve seen many people propose and decide to fully commit.

at the end of the day, one advice that i’d give any chick out there, and i know it’s not fair to us guys but i can’t be biased here, is to marry or be with the one that loves “her” ultimately. just try and be as fair as you can to both of you. don’t abuse a man’s love - it’s consequences are and can be severe specially towards the opposite sex in the short and long term. (severe as in cheating, disrespecting, not committing etc..)

hope this helps..

Posted by Misty 7th December 2008

Well it seems like to me that you both need to grow up a little more, maybe date around a little on both sides and truly see where your love can stand. You can’t love someone that you can’t trust since trust plays a major factor into a relationship. I agree with Yoshi with the two choices either forget him and move on or wait and hope. Don’t rush anything even though you’ve been together for so long in the past, because if like you said he’s always lied to you, how do you know while you guys are friends now that he isn’t honestly lying to you? How can you trust that?

Best of luck! Don’t rush because you feel the need to because if he’s a dishonest person you don’t want to be with someone like that to have your heart.

Posted by Anonymous 13th December 2008

I would say that if you can’t trust him then don’t get back together with him. It will just cause you more pain and heartache in the long run and if you can’t put aside the past then you’ll never be able to have a successful relationship with this person or anyone else.

Posted by Daddy 26th January 2009

First of all you are leaving out a very important part of the conversation. What happened to make you two break up? Well it doesnt matter really because you should date him again. If he breaks your heart and moves on from you, you have to respect that. Its a mans world. Get used to it.

Posted by Anonymous 14th July 2011

You aren’t going back together out of love. You’re going back together because it’s familiar. Love isn’t what’s controlling this relationship. It’s fear. Fear of being alone, of getting old and not being with someone…

You need to put an end to this cycle and just stop getting back with him. No matter how many times the two of you try it’s only going to end badly. Each time it’ll do more damage to your self esteem and self worth, so spare yourself a painful recovery and never go back with him.

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