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Ugh. *sigh* I don’t know what to do anymore.
I’ve never experienced anything like this before: the conceitedness I get when I’m near them, the butterflies when I look at them, and tripping over my words when I speak to them because of how nervous I am. This is like my normal social anxiety on a whole different type of level. I want to talk to them without tripping over my words, I want to ask them to hang out, and maybe later on down the road I would like to ask them out…but I’m sure they are like everyone else and conforms to monogamy, and would think I’m crazy for being a polyamorist. Therefore, making things awkward between the two of us but I’d love for it to be anything but that or worse.
I just want to find my second other half to finally feel complete, but the fact that I cant tell anyone but my significant other that I’m a polyamorist is depressing. I just want to be able to tell people what I want to with out being judged and be given a chance.
I just dont know what to do anymore,.
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