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Why does God love me? I know He made me, but I’ve hated many of the things I’ve made, and I’m worse then them all. I procrastinate, I have no desire for anything beneficial: school, piano, Bible study, prayer, exercise, healthy food, reading, nothing! I week after week, year after year, submit myself to the same pain by committing the same sins. I understand why I am not given any real trials when I fail at what any child could succeed at. I don’t understand why I can’t change, I try to give God my life, then I just take the reigns right back many deny the help. I don’t understand why God has given my my friends, my parents, my church, all amazing things, just for me to squander them. My lack of the fruit of the Spirit is painfully evident and makes me wonder why God doesn’t stop blessing me and leave me to die (spiritually speaking) I just don’t understand and wish I could start over with everything, but any time I have I have failed…miserably. Could I just be some one else? Someone more spiritual, some one more driven, some one more accomplished, some one worth something? Please God, help.
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