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I feel empty and sick all at once.

Posted 2nd November 2013 1615

I didn’t realize today was going to turn out like it has. I’m fbally in a good place with my life, working hard and getting things done. Sure, I don’t trust my brother, and I don’t want to be in the same room as him. I didn’t realize how angry with him I was until today. He used to tease me and yeah, sibling stuff, the eight months ago it got bad, I’ve been bruised, told that what I wanted to do with my life was useless, and now I’m scared of him. I’m angry that I’m scared of him. I’m taller, and bigger. But it doesn’t matter, he’s stronger and it scares me. My mum wont let me by myself in a room with him, thankfully. He recently broke up with his girlfriend of a long time, and we really like her. She came over today, and we ended up having the conversation that was really heavy. Turns out he broke up with her over text, and said some really hateful things. He was also cheating on her. He also has been lying and isn’t trying to get in contact with his friends like he said he had been. He got drunk enough he passed out, and a few ays ago he got in a fight. That was sort of the last thing, he never gets in fights. My other brother finally said the thing we’d all been thinking, that his protein supplements probably weren’t just protein. My brother was always the golden boy, now he’s ruined his relationship with me, my other brother, my parents, and his ex-girlfriend. Eight months and he went from him to whoever his is now. It scares me and I’m upset, but I know that it’s only because its effecting everyone else, not because I’m worried for him, and that makes me feel worse.

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