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I feel so inadequate.

Posted 13th April 2012 14

I feel like I can achieve nothing. I’m not nearly as pretty as some of my friends and relatives, not nearly as smart or rich or impressive. And I feel so pathetic, not just because of my own inadequacy, but because I’m letting this affect me so much. I thought I was confident but I’m just so sick of myself and being me. I’m not even a teenager anymore and I feel like I’m wrong in every possible way.

I just wish I could be a better person. I’m so alone, I keep everyone at an arm’s length because I don’t think they care about me anyway (they’re just curious) and every time I’ve done something I could call an achievement and feel happy, I’m immediately told that it’s not that good, someone has done better, someone did it faster etc.

I don’t want to live my life stuck in a competition I don’t want to be in, but when you make me feel like I’m losing all the time, I just feel like I don’t have any options.

I feel trapped and stupid and paranoid and lonely and all I want to do is cry.

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