Posted 22nd May 2016 213

So I went away on a business trip and met a guy from another office, we got on straight away and started flirting quite a lot with each other. We went out for dinner and some drinks and the flirting kept getting more and more open and obvious, other colleagues were asking if we were seriously together. He has a girlfriend who didn’t come on the trip and I’ve never met her.

Anyway when we were out in the evening, a few drinks turned into a few more and it got so sexual between us that we ended up talking about how it wasn’t just ‘banter’ it had gone on for several days and he said that there was more to it than harmless fun, we had a connection and I felt special. I told him I like him and thought there was more but that he had a girlfriend and that was it.

By this time everyone else we were with had left the club and it was like 3am. We were sat leaning in to each other and he had his arms around me and our legs were touching, it felt right, like id known him all my life. He told me his morals were questionable but it all depended on mine. We spoke about it for a good fifteen minutes about how we shouldn’t because he had a girlfriend but it felt so right and it felt like we couldn’t help it. It seemed he’d already made his mind up and I could tell by the look on his face he was just waiting for me to agree and kiss him. We ended up making out in the club and then he walked me back to my hotel, we got lost because we were in a strange city and kept stopping and making out in corners of the street and we holding hands while walking back.

I told him that was the line and it would go no further than making out but he tried to persuade me further by kissing me more and making me forget. (This was done jokingly, he never pushed me into anything I didn’t want) He also said he wasn’t going to break up with his girlfriend. Part of the reason I didn’t let it go further is because I’m actually a virgin, he doesn’t know and he’s a few years older so probably not used to it but if he hadn’t got a girlfriend I would’ve lost my virginity to him because it felt so special and right.

At work the next day we carried on with the normal banter so as not to arouse any suspision even though people were asking if I’d brought him back or if anything had happened. He told me it shouldn’t of happened and it was a mistake but only because of his girlfriend, he said he didn’t regret it and implied that he would do it again all while smirking and calling me a nickname he’d given me on the day we met.
I’m now home and absolutely out of my mind with confusion because I like him so much and want to go further but at the same time feel like a horrible human being for even considering that! We’re doing one more business trip in a few weeks and a few of us including him have already arranged to go out for drinks on the first night. He also lives 200 miles away so unlikely I’ll see him again other than for business.

Basically I don’t know whether to carry on with the banter and if anything happens to just go with it or play it straight and tell him nothing will happen? Like I said I’m a Virgin, 23 years old, never had a boyfriend and I think the flattery and thoughts that someone like ME are really confusing me. I guess it’s just nice to feel like someone thinks I’m worth cheating on his girlfriend for, however bad that sounds. He said he wasn’t going to break it off with his girlfriend so nothing long term will even happen, but is it worth pursuing him for one more night/ week of feeling this great and actually being happy with myself because someone thinks I’m special? I just don’t know, any advice would be great.

Sorry for the long rant but I needed to get that off my chest.

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