Posted 1st May 2014 1819

I should start at the beginning which was Homecoming, in September I believe. I was going alone with a bunch of friends, but going to chill and have a good time! If I met a guy, cool. If I didn’t, whatever. I was out all day, getting my hair done(took 3 hours), getting my makeup done(professional). When I finally put on the dress, heels, and jewelry, I felt good. I looked in the mirror and saw the girl I wanted to be. I thought I looked beautiful.
I went to the school, met up with my friends and they didn’t recognize me and that just made me feel better. They all took me I was beautiful and everything. While I returned their compliments because they were all gorgeous too, I saw my best friend walk in with this guy. He was so gorgeous. I swear, my legs turned to jelly under me when I walked to greet my friend. I introduced myself to him, little did I know that I would be dealing with for the next months to come..
We all had so much fun, dancing, eating chips, drinking soda. I didn’t want that night to end. I noticed that my best friend and the gorgeous guy kept slipping out. I would go with them and hang out for a bit but soon grow bored then go dance.
Once it was time to go home, I was waiting for my ride. My friends all got picked up and it was only me and the gorgeous boy. Of course, he was head over heels for my best friend and I wasn’t about to ruin that for her. We just talked, he told me I looked nice and I said the same. My ride show up so I said goodbye and left.
Soon, we started hanging out and growing more comfortable around each other. We both share many interest and hobbies that my friend and him don’t exactly share.
My best friend and him began to date. She asked me not to hang out with him anymore alone like we had been doing. Who was I to argue? I went along with it, we started talking less and less.. She was his girlfriend, I was only a friend.
The first few months, I bottled my feelings for him and always acted excited when my friend would tell me what they did over the weekend. I honestly was happy for her! She found someone she cared about!
Soon, I met this amazing man. I care for this boy dearly, he is all I ever asked for in a man. The gorgeous guy my friend had didn’t matter anymore. He was still my friend too, but my feelings for him disappeared. My boy was all I wanted, all I need.
Many months into this relationship with him, I think I’m feeling love..
But… I’ve noticed something. It’s too sexual, too touchy. I tell him we should calm down, take it slow, but he seems to enjoy it this way and I don’t want to upset him.
My best friend and the gorgeous boy have broken up, they made some mistakes that weren’t wise.
Since then, they are on and off again sort of. I don’t really understand what it happening with them. Oh well.
My best friend keeps making sarcastic to me about my boy and I. I just want her to stop! I can’t stand it at all.
With them broken up, gorgeous guy and I have resumed hanging out regularly like before.
I need to stop this.
These feelings are returning.
I just want to stop it before making a mistake.
I don’t know his feelings for me, but I think I know mine.
My boy knows we hang out, but he doesn’t know about this.
What do I do? I don’t want to hurt my boy.
Also, gorgeous guy dated my best friend. He is off limits to me, so even if I was single.. pursuing a relationship with him would be wrong.
I think I know the right answer, the right thing to do.
It’s just sad what the right choice is.
I know a lot of people are going to sit here reading this and call me a whore or a slut or a cheater, but I can tell you right now that nothing has happened between gorgeous guy and I. It is strictly friendly, with my bottled feelings.
Some people will still think it anyway.

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