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I have problems

Spook

Posted 30th June 2013 815

I’m SO TIRED of having these issues;; I’m glad that your life is going great, but my life SUCKS, what did you think?? do you honestly think I *enjoy* doing absolutely nothing and making NO constructive progress towards anything!? how am I doing, you ask? do you seriously buy it when I say that I’m “fine”? really? I’m fucking miserable! but I can’t tell you that because I’m obligated to not bring you down with my bullshit negativity.
past me, you screwed up royally, insisting that I’m all logical and un-emotional. I’m basically SCREWED because of that. nobody asks me how I’m feeling because they reasonably expect me to not want them to. and now, all of the sudden, EMOTIONS. and I can’t tell anybody because you were stupid enough to assume that you didn’t have them, and even stupider to think that you/I would never change.
everything is so damn awkward all the time. when the time comes to make a decision, I make the stupidest decision. and I never have a good reason why I did that dumb thing. it’s like. my mind is constantly thinking and worrying overtime, until it becomes important that I think. at which point it seems like I can’t think, which leaves me to do the stupidest thing possible. what is going on.

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