Posted 9th February 2014 2627

I am engaged to be married this summer. I am prolly having second thoughts and trying to ignore them. Nonrefundable deposits made, plus I have a STD now and no one else will want me. Don’t want to give my fucking family another reason to say I told you so. Both my partner and I work full time. All he does is sit on his fucking computer and do art. He works 9-6 and comes home to cook our dinner and washes the dishes. Oh, and he takes the garbage out once a week. Lots of fucking help there. Doesn’t even know how to use a weed wacker. Sometimes I want to say are you really this ignorant or just want to get out of doing things. Then he just wants to do art. he says its for contests and practice, but I am now calling bullshit. It’s all he cares about doing. The caulk on the bathtub is turning black, and I am the one who has to figure out how to fix it. I have no closet doors and it will not get done unless I fucking do it. Finally got him to try to fix the sink, and we ended up having to call a plumber. But the plumber didn’t do a very good job because we still have a very slow leak. Is he doing anything about? Of course not. I do not want to clean up after someone else. If I have to do all this shit on my own, then I damn well prefer to be alone instead of this crap. I am just so angry today. He has lived with me for 2 years and still has to ask my how to get somewhere a couple of blocks away. Seriously, learn your fucking surroundings. If someone says get on Howell and exit Maryanne and take a left, why the fuck do you have to ask if you need to get on the freeway or stay on the road? If you have to exit then obviously you are on the fucking highway. Not to mention, if you are on an access road right next to and parallel to the freeway, why would you go through 5 busy intersections and sit through stoplights. Fucking common sense people. We are supposed to register for wedding gifts, but of course he doesn’t want to ask for anything. I told him fine, I will register on my own and we get what we get. He didn’t even get me a diamond engagement ring. It’s a beautiful stone, but not a traditional ring. I said nothing about it at all because I didn’t want to hurt his feelings and I was just so happy and excited he asked. I get promoted and email him that he has to take me out to celebrate. He has to ask me where to go, what to do etc. OMG, can’t you make a decision on your own? Seriously where are all the real men at?

I just can’t stand anything anymore and I want to run away forever. And that is because I am too chicken shit to kill myself. Nothing is worth anything to me anymore. I go to work, I come home. Occasionally I go out. I am so fucking bored it is not funny. I try to do things, but haveing to go to something the same time each week gets boring or stale, and it becomes more a chore or pain than something fun to do. I am so fucking immature it’s not even funny. I just want to have fun.

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