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I will not be sleeping tonight.

Posted 29th October 2012 07

I fucking hate my life.
I suffered from depression for years, and only in the last year or so have I actually felt happy at all. My Dad thinks it is impossible for me to be depressed. I have aspergers, and I cant get counselling because my dad thinks it is a waste of money. I spend all of my time writing because I want to be an author, and I love literature. Neither of my parents seem to believe in me at all, not only writing wise-bur everything in life.
I am in an amazing online relationship that has change my life, but I have to keep my relationship a secret because they are convinced everybody in the internet are fucking rapists, and it males no sense at all because she lives acros the entire u.s. and she hasnt tried to meet me irl for the almost entire two years we have been friends(almost one in a relationship)
Why in fact I have every reason not to be in a relationship with her because her dad is abusive, a large chunk of her family are assholes, and multiple girl irl have crushed on me an it would be so much easier to date them
I date her because I love her, and I trust her because she has helpe me more than any person has in my life
She understands me better than I understand myself
If i cant trust her I cant trust anybody
Im not goin to be able to sleep tonight because he went to a party with her family(she is a minor btw, obviously so am I) and she ate some apples that came with the entree of pork and apparently they undercooked it because the apples were still infused with beer and made her drunk from eating them. I am very worried because she yas never been drunk before, and Im afraid something bad will happen because she is drunk and is around a bunch of family tht has been laughing at her once they realized she was drunk
Fucking LAUGHING
I dont trust anyone with all of my mind and hear beaides my girlfreind
I have no friends because Im socially awkward and Im always too blunt with people
And i just wanna cry my eyes out and not go to school tomorrow and wake up next to my girlfriend and be told that everything is okay and her family isnt messing her life up anymore
And fuck my bad grammar too, im venting and not paying attention to it so fuk any fucktard that makes fun of my shitty grammar in my shitty vent
I just wish somebody could understand my pain irl, at lwadt once….
Gos damnit im crying and my dad is trying to talk to me….

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Comments

Posted by Anonymous 3rd November 2012

I highly recommend you talk to a school counselor about this stuff. I know a lot of people worry that a school counselor will tell their parents what they’ve said, but they won’t unless they have reason to believe you’re going to harm yourself or someone else.

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