Posted 13th December 2008 1020

Theres a man that has been in my life for 16 yrs. we have been lovers for just as long. I have been married twice and him once during tha 16 yr long affair. We are both still currently married now. A few years a go, i called him up, after not talkn to him for almost two years because i had gotten remarried, to tell him happy birthday, and wow it all came rushing back… We cant seem to stay away drom each other but we cant seem to be togethr either, its soooo not just about tha sex, its almost an unweilding forcr that drives us to each other… I love him more than I have ever loved anyone, except my child.. We are both in unhappy marriages, prolly because we arent tha ones married to each other, he and his wife dont even sleep in tha same room together. My husband and i have lots of problems, but we both have had children with our spouses so we dont want to hurt tha children and disrupt thier lives vecause they are happy.. and to the both of us thats what matters more than our own happiness. I want to have his child someday but i dont know that that will ever happen.. We know each pretty damn well, but he asked me some personal questions not to long ago and i told him about somethings that happened in my child hood and i think i blew him away.. He had no idea what i had been threw before i ever meet him… I have always tried to keep him at a certian distance with my past and inner emotions because we have never been in tha right places in our lives where “WE” actually can be together and in tha same place in our lives.. but he really wanted to know and i opened up to him.. this is a new place in our reletionship… i know almost everything about him, hes very upfront with himself and always has been. im not sure how he thinks about me keeping this from him for so long.. he told me he felt sooo bad that i didnt feel i care share things like that with him… im just afraid if we start to get to close the “pull” we have for one other will be stronger than we are… are we or arent we to be together…..

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