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I’m heartless

Spook

Posted 28th November 2008 73

My mom died two years ago when I was a freshman in highschool… i cried a few times. But then I stopped caring. I just failed my first class ever in school.. i’m getting really lazy. All i ever think about are dumb things like sex or violence. I wish someone could come into my life and motivate me like my mom did. Everyone I meet or know… It’s like they are glass; I look right through them. I know they love me and want me to be happy but i don’t see any reason in it. everyone is just going to die sometime, right? what’s the point in expending the energy to love someone when it just ends eventually?

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Comments

Posted by kaern 28th November 2008

my mom died too i failed a class because of it. it sucks. but no one can really pull you out of this rut but you. Finding someone supportive and that makes you happy helps alot but it doesn’t even sound like you’ve gotten the motivation for meeting new people. Yes people die but that is the way life is and since you just lost someone uber close to you, you need to start viewing death differently. Its not a bad thing, its not your fault, its life, and you should be thankful for having those people in your life to share what they know with you in the first place. that’s most of what life is, sharing knowledge passing down history creating memories & stories, but dying is part of life too and its not the end all be all. at some point you need to feel comfortable in learning to stop about feeling bad that she’s gone, and start feeling good about the times you had together - those memories are better than any memory of a funeral. talk to people about it if something is really bothering you.

Posted by Anonymous 28th November 2008

my mom hasn’t died, but i feel the same way about people and life simply because i can’t connect with people. its nearly impossible for me to carry on a conversation. ive gotten good at making jokes and comebacks, simply because it provides a facade for the fact that i really dont exist as they think people exist. its like being a suit of armor that people think holds someone, but nothings inside

Posted by Seriously 30th November 2008

If your mom were still alive, would you be behaving “lazy” as you call it? If you didn’t do it while she was alive you dont do it now that she is gone. If fact, you are supposed to live out your mothers honor by staying motivated and interested in the quality of your life. Don’t make her turn over in her grave. Get back on top of your game!! Especially with your grades, you can’t go anywhere with out an education.

Posted by someone 30th November 2008

Be strong and positive. I myself, had a death every six months (grand mother, grand mother, father) which left me RUINED… it took me several years to try and snap out of it. find a person to be next to you.. but don’t dump your emotions and feeling onto them constantly (that was a mistake of mine which ended a 4 year relationship).

be positive please..

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