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I’m so confused and just bleh

Cry

Posted 11th September 2010 43

So frustrated, so confused, so tired, so sad, so angry…grrr….Dean, I want to tell you how I feel, I really do. I want to tell you that when you don’t txt me back it cuts me inside because I feel like you don’t feel the same way as I do. I’m scared that if I txt too much you will get annoyed with me and I’m scared if I txt how I’m feeling it will just piss you off more because I’m trying to push you into liking me… I’m stuck in a rut of not seeing you for a month, giving you my all and only getting occasional communication, it doesn’t make sense to me. You seemed to be so set to be with me but now I’m not sure where you are. I want you, I want you more than anything. Everyone says you are a user and I’m trying to give you the benefit of the doubt and hope and pray they are wrong but the more you ignore me, the more I lean to believe them. I don’t want to lose you, I love everything about you, I love how you get when you hold me and the way you are when you look into my eyes. I love the way you are always cracking jokes and making me laugh. Our time together is precious to me it really is, I know you are hurt from your ex girlfriend but surely you can move on from it if you really felt the way you said you did about me. I too have a broken heart, and I swore black and blue I wasn’t going to do this again but then I meet you at your party and that night is perfect and then go back on my word and think that maybe you are the one that will change my beliefs of love. Maybe it is worth it when someone new like you comes into my life, maybe it’s for a reason, and maybe you are the one to make my life better. I know you say you are shy and I am too but when it’s just you and me all barriers are taken down and we can be ourselves and I LOVE that, that is when I can really show my self to you and the same with you to me, and I like what I see…. So why is it that you won’t reply to my txts, why do I have to wait so long to be with you again? I wish I could tell you how I feel, I really do, I wish I could blurt it all out to you and have you say to me that you feel the same way about me, I just want to know what I can do, I don’t want to wait around if you aren’t interested in me anymore, it’s too painful :(

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