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I’m tired.

Posted 4th February 2014 813

You know it’s hard enough dealing with an abusive mother. It’s even harder when she puts on a charade and everyone thinks that I’M the bad kid, even going as far as sympathizing for her having to put up with me. All I want is the satisfaction of the truth emerging for all to see, an end to the senseless denial, and a fucking nap. And I was getting close to that - well, at least the first part…

Then she ends up with cancer. Metastasizing to the brain. Two to three months to live. I’m fine with that, believe me. Sure I feel bad for her when I’m icing my own welts and burns and I think about how she went through the same shit with her mom… but if she wont start telling the truth and admitting to what she’s done then I won’t have any part of a relationship with her - and I shouldn’t fucking HAVE to. Everyone goes on and on with the “You have to learn to forgive…” and “It’ll just bring you down, I mean, she’s your MOM!”

Well what the fuck am I supposed to forgive if she’s “done nothing wrong”? Hmm? And by the way; when was it decided that when someone dies or is dying that they become martyrs with no mistakes and an all-express pass to do whatever the fuck they want? Cause if that’s the case, then sign me the fuck up for some heroine and methamphetamines. Maybe I can trash my organs into destruction and faultlessly screw up the life of another human being.

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Comments

Posted by Anonymous 23rd June 2015

You owe her nothing, even forgiveness. Take care of yourself.

Posted by Anonymous 7th August 2015

Dear Anonymous,
You owe her nothing. Keep living your life without any problems stopping you. Don’t let people walk all over you. You are stronger than this.

Stay Strong,
Anonymous.

Posted by Anonymous 8th September 2017

You don’t owe her but you do owe yourself. You won’t ever forget or forgive the abuse. But you said it yourself she dealt with it herself with her own mother. You owe it to yourself to forgive her for being a flawed human being. Its a generational problem. Ask her while she’s alive if she forgave her own mother. Forgiveness isn’t a license to do the same things. Its about letting go of negative anger. The kind that eats you up inside as it doesn’t serve to protect you or others. Please do this while she is alive and can interact with you, once she’s dead you won’t be able to.

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