Is this messed up?

Posted 2nd August 2013 47

Ok, so when i was 7 i had a weird dream of me being in highschool (currently in highschool now) and the dream showed me being turned down happening time after time and losing the ones i love. The other part of the dream had me doing very strange things like laughing a lot, and crying then showing me looking at my older self. Now HERE IS THE FUCKING CREEPY ASS SHIT, the figure i saw was a exact replica of my self today and my dream or myself told me what would exactly happen in highschool. I would lose people, gain people, cry, laugh, get in trouble, and have a sick and twisted plot. Now i didn’t remember what my dream had said about the plot but here is the more messed up part beginning freshmen year (now going into junior year) i thought of a plan to have people gain my trust and like me and be that “cool” guy. I think i did pretty well with it freshmen year. Now the plan i had for sophmore year was get in trouble and lose 90% friends trust by smashing mailboxes and getting other friends in trouble as well, and also lie a lot so the anger and trust in them breaks inside my friends. So i also was quite the ladies man, and i gained three girls trust so god damn well it was kinda creepy, but i have two of them away to kids that weren’t that happy with me to see if they could like me again (only did it to see if they were easy to manipulate with their emotions) and they stayed angry kinda at me and wasnt surprised but now i started to bring in my depression side into all of this. I have tried to kill my seld 4 times and the purpose is to see who would care and see who i can take advantage of. Now i went to a intensive therapy (hosipitalized for walking in traffic and getting hit and ending it) now as i get out of intensive therapy i see my phone blown up with “r u ok???!!” etc… and now i know people only care for it so now i can easily gain them back by slowly working into their emotions and then because of my lies and getting in trouble they still cant trust me, NOW thats what i want because now i can just keep doing anything i want and tell them about it so basically i could kill someone and hide up all the evidence and not get caught, but tell my friends i did it…BUT no one believes me and now my dream is coming true and its awesome because i basically can do whatever i want and no one will give a fuck or believe it ;p also i do have a disease called crohns disease and it basically eats up my insides and i will probably die because when i tried to kill my self the 2nd time it was cutting my stomach open and i made it worse by cutting a shit ton of organs and now i tell people it but HEY they dont believe it so i like it because im probably am going to die and i accept death and cant wait to here everyone spreading rumors because it will be SO fun and i do mean actually fun because i always go along with them :p