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Just getting some weight off off my shoulders

Posted 29th April 2013 48

I wish I was the guy I was supposed to be. My friends and family ignore that I prefer being male, and ignore it a bit. But it’s obvious. Still, I love my friends. I feel in place among them. though, I’m nobody’s favorite. I always say something stupid, or I mess up, or I forget to give someone special the attention they deserve.. At school I don’t really have friends either. I have one girl that I chitchat with, but she gossips behind my back and I know that. I have no anxiety, or scars, disorders. I’m just lonely. I live together with my mom, and that’s it. She’s sweet, but being nice is just too hard. We’ve grown apart too much. I don’t want to die, nor I’m getting bullied, but it’s just that nothing belongs to me. In my spare time I watch series and stuff, and I have things related to that that mean almost everything to me. And when other people like the things I like, and express it more and act like they own it, I can get extremely sad. Because I almost never see my friends, and I’m alone most of the day. I have almost no social anxiety i think and I’m always trying my best making friends. But nothing succeeds. That, combined with some loss in my life, makes me write this. My life’s great, yeah, but I’m not using it like I should. I can’t.

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