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I completely agree with you. I would rather not have knocked so insistently on the bathroom door to hurry you up so that we could actually progress with the birthday celebration. I would really rather not have had to do that at all.
I would have much preferred that the first time someone called you been the ONLY time that was necessary and that you would have had respect for other people’s time enough to just show up, let us get on with the celebration and then disappear if need be.
Unfortunately for me, you’re a turd, so it seems that it is necessary for you to be called not once, not twice, but SIX TIMES, and also for someone to be ordered under duress to physically COME and make sure that you get to the table, because we can’t possibly start without you EVEN THOUGH IT’S NOT EVEN YOUR BIRTHDAY.
Here’s how I would have had things go:
Everyone would have been informed that things were ready for the celebration. Everyone would have been invited to come to the table to begin the celebration. If necessary, ONE reminder would be issued. After that, you’re on your fucking own. No cake for you. No pizza. If you can’t respect that other people in this house can’t just wait until you FEEL like your face is washed enough to show up and YOU’RE NOT EVEN THE GUEST OF HONOUR, then tough, why should anyone care whether you are at the celebration.
You’re a turd. You’re not special. You’re not even the guest of honour. Know thy place.
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