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Maximum Stress - I needed to Rant Somewhere

Burn

Posted 18th November 2011 1717

I don’t usually post problems or even tell anyone about them but I feel like my head is going to explode.

I had to serve a year in prison for a marijuana charge when driving through a bible belt state. This is where it all really begins. FYI I have had jobs since I was 12 and have been a productive and upstanding citizen, have an associates and two bachelor degrees and am a homeowner and pull my weight in life working usually 50+ hours a week.

I became unemployed shortly before this happened and I was getting ready to move back to the east coast. I had to deal with being in jail and then going to prison (yes, prison for pot) where all my rights were stripped and I had to sit and do nothing for 4 straight months (not even a TV) before finally getting to prison. Then not socialize or talk to anyone for a year since I wanted to get finished and go home without incident. There were even still a few close calls. I had my best friend try to maintain my finances best he could while I was away.

I get home and was able to have a job lined up. I also scored a second job. I was able to scrape a car together and start working. I work about 65-70 hours a week now. Having a job and another backup job is nice since I have a felony on my record, plus I need the cash for fines. I am on probation so I can’t leave the county though and I can’t even have a damn drink.

My mom came down with breast cancer and had a mastectomy, she is still recovering and has a couple surgeries left. My father had to have a big surgery for his back recently so he is laid up. I am living back at home (I am 30 years old) and they have a 500 sq ft camp that we live in. There is no privacy but I can’t afford to move out yet and I need to be at home anyway to do everything around the house for them.

I ended up starting to date a girl which was nice after being surrounded by prisoners and no women for a year. It eats up some of my time though, which I already have very little of. I leave for work at 7am and get home at 11pm Monday through Friday. I have weekends off thank God but that time is spent doing things that need to be done.

I have a year left of probation and am working on getting the cash together to pay off my fines and to be able to move back out.

I am trying to start a business as well with a life long friend of mine. It has taken a huge chunk of my time as well but it’s a great business idea and I would love for it to work out and I could just work at that job making good money.

Having no privacy time to myself has created a huge chunk of stress and I don’t have time to even get enough sleep for several months. I don’t have time to go workout either, which has always been a nice stress reliever for me and I like to keep in shape. I haven’t had my life back for 2 years now.

I am maxed out. I need sleep. I need money. I need to get back in shape. I need a place to live. I need my freedom back. I need to not live with my parents who seem to think I am 16 friggin years old. I need to be able to come home from work and spend some time with my dog and maybe watch some TV, work on my car, sit and stare at the freakin ceiling.

There’s more but this is already a crapload to read. If I can make it through another year, hopefully things will finally get better. Typing this out helped some.

Maybe someone reading this will feel a bit better about their life.

tired crazy prison stressed burnt rant

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Comments

Posted by El Diablo 1st February 2012

That really sucks but hey, ya got through it and hopefully they will work with you on getting all that crap off your record.

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