Posted 25th December 2015 2417

Merry Bed Bugs and Dog Urine

If it’s truth you seek and find it here.

Christmas Eve morning at 6am I feel something under my feet as I sleep in my recliner lounge chair. As I lower the chair lever several times, there is a lump of resistance under my feet and then I feel something stinging in the small of my back, I realize exactly what happened. The reason I sleep in a chair is because we have no bed. We threw it in the dumpster because of a Bed Bug infestation that was gnawing on us and our out of state visitors. .The bed bugs were biting me and the dog had just pissed under my feet in the living room floor and I just stood up and stepped in it and my feet are soaked with dog urine… as the bed bugs keep gnawing at my back. I pickup the dog, start outside and realize it’s cold and wet where last night, six people were killed in tornados and a horrible storm. Wet cold feet, dog urine, Bed Bugs, an old dog and life in the trailer park. As they say, “Gotta Love It!”

The dog pees some more on the lawn and wanders off across it afterwards. I trek across the lawn to pick up the crippled, blind, deaf and emaciated dog we have tried to keep alive for over fifteen years.

My back is stinging from the bed bug bites, my feet are wet with dog piss, the chemo drugs are kicking my ass with nausea, vomiting, stomach cramps and neuropathy(no feeling in my feet and hands) but other than all this terrible stuff that has happened in the last few years is just life observed.

Still want to read on? I don’t blame you.




Sound like an old worn-out soap opera? There’s plenty more.
I didn’t know how dysfunctional dysfunction could get.

It’s Christmastime and we celebrate the birth of our savior. They tell me, without a doubt this is all true because it is written in the good book. Most preachers seem like they have an ulterior motive, maybe wanting to control people, but most seem like when they are preaching to me that they are actually trying to convince themselves there is a God. It could be true and I don’t doubt the real God for a moment, but they call it the inspired word of God. I think man wrote it and that there is some substantial evidence to it’s validity. I know we are not here by accident. I know there is divine source. I know God.

The real truth is that none of us, no not one, has even a clue to how our existence came to be. The real truth is this… God, whomever you are… we don’t know anything and it’s all speculation because we all think we are so smart and tuned in. We are not that smart, we are not tuned in and we can’t and don’t know anything about spirituality. We are all either delusional or spiritually bankrupt. I am about ready to re-finance my spirituality.

I mean bed bugs, dog piss, a crazy family and cancer have their merits but I am ready to depart this lifestyle. First, I decided to move to a small coastal town in Florida and walk the beach getting stoned as my cancer went away. I sent an email to the Mayor of that town and announced my intentions of moving there and… she wrote back saying I wasn’t welcome there and that I should look at moving to a bigger city. Nice welcoming committee right? Now, that her decision affected me in a profound way, I am entertaining the idea of moving half way around the world to the tropics of the Philippines Islands where I understand the people are loving and kind, even though they are impoverished. I’ll just have to love the hateful people and love the loving people and love myself.


Merry Christmas to you. Happy Birthday to God and thanks to my loving companion who bears this burden together with me as she works harder and harder everyday to overcome this madness. I know where the madness originates. It is in my mind. I have created this reality and that tells me something. It’s not the only reality I can create. I think I will build a new kingdom where none of the former bullshit exists.

Thank you to the real God, not the phony gods people make up, but the genuine “No Bullshit” real creator and maintainer of all there is and all there will ever be, God. Amen.

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