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To calm my anxiety and depression, I go for late night walks. Like 11 pm or 2 am walks. I often sneak out, but my brother found out and told my mother. To a normal parent, this would raise a red flag. Your teenage daughter sneaking out at night. Not my mother. She merely acknowledged that I sneak out, then yelled at me about being in my room too much.
Just a few moments ago, she told me “You self diagnose yourself with all these things and none of them are real.”
Oh really.
Suicide isn’t real then.
Depression isn’t real then.
Anxiety isn’t real then.
I have tried to drown myself, but I couldn’t do it.
I have cried myself to sleep, because all my ‘friends’ have left me.
I have panicked at the thought of my cat being taken away.
A thing that I do when I am about to panic is I dig my nails into my thump. I have broken the skin, and been in such a panic that I don’t notice.
I currently do home school, to escape bulling. But my new bully is my mother. She is aware of my problems, and doesn’t care. She only adds onto my problems. Depression makes it hard to do anything. I can’t get out of bed.
She wants to force me back to school. And I will kill myself before that happens.
Sorry if this brought you down, but writing is my only escape. I am not allowed to vocalize my problems, and all these words are trapped in my head. I can’t take this any more.
So this is me. And my insanity.
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Posted by Roger That 3rd June 2016
I am a counselor… I am so glad you are able to put how you feel into words. Please know that there are many resources online to find help. There is even a text holiness if you are feeling overwhelmed and need to talk to someone. To Write Love on Her Arms is also a great resource to find hope.Posted by Roger That 3rd June 2016
*Text hotline, not holiness.Post a confession or rant now! It’s completely anonymous.
Posted by cptwasabi 17th May 2016
parents seem to never understand.