Posted 13th May 2015 1529

I hate my roommate lately. Our internet has been on the fritz and I was trying to connect to the modem directly to see if the router might be the problem and she was like, it’s not the router it’s the modem. Now, I realize it is probably the modem but I figured what’s the harm in checking? And then she was like, the router always works, it’s the modem that’s malfunctioning. Which is a dumb thing to say because a router is hardware, it can absolutely malfunction. She was like, I know, it’s my router. That doesn’t mean you have some deep insight into how it works, bitch! She was telling me the modem is where the internet comes from like I don’t know what a fucking modem does. Acting like she knows shit about technology when she definitely doesn’t. Neither do I, but I see no reason why the router malfunctioning is LITERALLY IMPOSSIBLE according to her. I know it is probably the modem and I already ordered a new one but she’s standing around like I’m some idiot for checking the router. Okay so that’s a stupid story about a minor annoyance that happened to send me into a frenzy of irritation just because everything she does annoys me lately and it just builds up.

I don’t like myself for how judgmental I am of her because I’m no better in many ways but here are things that annoy me. She is obsessed with her cat and not in a cute way. She takes a million pictures of it and is always cooing at it and singing to it and showing me pictures of it even though it’s RIGHT THERE. And the thing is, the cat is cute but it’s also CRAZY AND MEAN. And when the cat is acting like a crazy bitch she’s all like, it’s just the weather, or, it’s because no one has been home all day. No bitch, it’s because your cat is nuts and hunts me in my own home! But don’t really have a leg to stand on I guess because I pet with and play with the cat too, and I even like it sometimes. But if I happen to ACCIDENTALLY kick that cat on reflex after it bites my leg unprovoked I will not be apologizing.

Okay, also her personality just annoys me. She is very excitable and chatty and rambles on about things I don’t care about. Which I realize sounds cold on my part but whatever. She rarely asks you about your day or yourself and when you do try to talk about yourself she just relates it back to her. So, just a bad conversation partner and I’ve been avoiding talking to her because it is so boring and irritating and one sided. And she just has bad taste in things. She eats lots of nasty fast food and frozen food all the time and never learned to cook. She’s trying to learn now but still cooks pretty unhealthy stuff. She claims to be this great baker but is always buying cake mixes and cookie dough. She makes cookies from scratch occasionally and they are okay. Being able to make cookies doesn’t make baking your special talent, anyone who can read and has two hands can do that.

I also feel like she has bad judgment and makes so many excuses for herself. She hooks up with randos from tinder and for a while was bringing over strange men she had never met to the apartment until I told her to stop. Most guys I’ve seen her with are skeezy losers and jerks. She is open minded to the point of just being a really shitty judge of character. And she makes so many excuses for not trying to lose weight or finish her degree. Just take a walk or something. The reason exercise feels so crappy is because you’re really out of shape. And also you’re never going to lose weight if you don’t modify your diet, and she eats like shit. I don’t want to hear about her plans to lose weight anymore because she never does anything about it.

Also she drinks a lot. Polishing off a bottle of wine on your own a few times in your life is not so bad, but once a month? Maybe more? Creeping up on not okay. I just don’t see the appeal of drinking by yourself and am not always a fan of how alcohol makes me feel so I can’t understand it. I just find it hella pathetic when I come home and she’s laid out on the couch, reeking of wine and rewatching some dumb TV show for the thousandth time. She spends so much time doing nothing in front of TV. Just lying around. She barely works, she has so much time to do something else (like exercise!).

Okay well the anger I was feeling earlier is gone and now I just feel kinda sorry for her and grossed out with myself for having so many judgmental thoughts about someone who has never done anything really bad to me. The thing is I’m just as flawed as her and shouldn’t judge. Even now that the rage has passed every time I hear her cooing at her cat in the other room it sends a spike of annoyance through me. But if I’m always feeling annoyed for no good reason it probably means I’m the asshole. I could have a way worse roommate.

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