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New Year, Better Me

Posted 31st December 2017 513

It’s New Years Eve and I’ve decided, once and for all, to say goodbye to some people and things in my life that don’t align with my goals. First, I forgive and release my parents from all the anger and bitterness I have held for them. Why you chose to have children, I’ll never know. But, you can’t hurt me anymore. You’re both dead to me. It was your choice. I don’t understand it, but I’ll live with it. I hope dying isn’t too painful for you. I hope your memory loss is easing that pain. I never got to say my goodbye properly, but that also was your choice. So now, I’m saying goodbye. I will not carry this into 2018. It’s over now.
Second, after 30 years and one day, I release the one true love of my life, REL. It was never meant to be. After today, I will no longer actively keep up with your life. If a random thought crosses my mind or I hear that song on the radio, I will remember you fondly, but that is it. It’s time to let you go.
Third, I’m choosing my health over alcohol and cigarettes. The last drink was taken 2 days ago. The last cigarette will be smoked tonight. They will be replaced with a healthy diet and exercise. I will not face another New Year no better off than the last. I want to breathe and feel light again. Tired of being sick and tired.
Fourth, before midnight, I am going to burn a piece of paper with the name of anyone who has ever hurt me, anyone who I am actively holding hurt feelings for or resentment towards, anyone who has ever made me feel small or unimportant. I’m going to release it all.
Looking forward to big changes in 2018.

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