Posted 16th December 2011 1627

Sometimes I remember why, but most of the time I don’t. You know, I didn’t personally cause every problem you had in your day, and just once in a while, it would be nice if you rembered that. I don’t want to talk about the kids all the time, and especially not on those rare occasions we’re having sex. I don’t call it making love, because it’s not. It’s just a duty for you, that much is obvious. From your anger at me daring to slow down and enjoy it to your angry shouts of “Hurry up and finish” all the time, to your rushing away from any additional contact with me, to your ever growing list of things we can’t possibly try, places on you I can’t possibly touch. You simply make no effort whatsoever at it. I would die of old age waiting for you to actually initiate anything. Your addiction to your soap operas on your laptop has me clearly way, way, way down your list of priorities. I get it loud and clear that I’m at least down at number 10 in your priority set. You’re too tired to cuddle me or kiss me, but can stay up 3 hours longer than me watching television. Right. We’re not a couple. I can count on two hands the number of times you have kissed me with anything more than a peck on the lips. You don’t like holding my hand, you don’t make any attempt to plan to spend time with me, there is no physical intimacy between us at all. And I can’t say ANY of this, because you won’t talk to me. You won’t take any action, because you think I’m the one that’s unrealistic and demanding. Want to know why men cheat on their wives??? THIS IS WHY!!! Don’t come later when the train has left the station and whine and bitch and moan about how we’re supposed to be true to each other. I’ve done that for 25 years. We are supposed to be true to each other. That is true. But, that also means YOU HAVE TO PUT SOME GODDAMMED EFFORT INTO THAT RELATIONSHIP, AND STAYING A COUPLE! Honestly, not sure how much longer I can take this. I want to stay married to you, but I’m dying every day inside. You’ve refused every suggestion, every attempt I’ve ever made to try and find something more fun for you, and YET YOU’VE MADE NONE IN RETURN. I see couples in places I go, and I fucking hate them. It’s obvious from looking at them, they have a level of intimacy we will never have. All I want to do is pack my bags.

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