Posted 21st September 2011 2328

Heya. Wasabi? Wazzup? What’s the dillio?

Sorry, I was just trying to talk like you.

So hey, um, I want to tell you something but I’m not sure how to. We’ve been hanging out quite a lot recently; and I say quite a lot because I have been either at home/the gym/driving OR hanging out with you. I barely see anyone of my friends anymore except for maybe four others. So yea, I feel like we’ve been chilling a lot. Did I just repeat myself there? I did.

Don’t get me wrong though, I absolutely love hanging with you. I have a ton of fun and I’m happy. It’s just that, you know, we have a past. A couple of months ago we were seeing each other, hooking up, finding ourselves caring for the other more than friends. But things happened and we stopped talking, you found yourself a new boo. I dated other people. We had our own separate lives- until this one fateful day that I decided, “hey, I wonder how he’s doing.” And there it goes. We started talking again, we started chilling, going places, eating out, staying in and watching movies, drinking beer. I like it… A lot. And I wouldn’t change a thing.

But somehow, somewhere in my brain, I want to make a move. I’ve kissed you before, why can’t I do it again? I’m not scared that you’d back off. (That would actually be a really good move on your part because then, I would know that all of this was platonic.) I still want to know, though. Because the truth is, I never stopped liking you. I never stopped caring for you. You were on my mind quite a lot and all the what ifs and could have beens are still circling in my mind. I believe that we would’ve been good together. I am open to being vulnerable to you, you know. And that is something I have never, ever been before. Some of my friends ask me why I don’t get into relationships with the almost perfect guys I have been out with, and honestly all I could say was because I don’t want to be vulnerable with them. But with you, man, with you… I was, still am, willing to risk a lot. Maybe I should just make the first move. Fuck it, I don’t want to waste time thinking of possibilities (or the impossibilities) with you. I don’t think I’m in love with you- not yet, that’s still a far enough shot. But you know what, I want to. I want you to be the person I fall in love with. I want you to fall in love with me.

But if that’s not all plausible, I want you to know that I care. And even if it breaks my heart to be “just friends,” once I start really caring about someone… I’ll take the hit.

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