Posted 11th February 2014 68

The thing that really fucking does my head in is that its always worse when it comes to someone else. I’m not a person to happily say how I feel yet by ‘best mate’ seems to think that means nothing ever bothers me. I went through the most stressful time of my life losing loved ones I was very close to, mum was diagnosed with depression and I was a mess, bottling things up and not eating etc, it was only when mum threatened to take me to the doctors, presumably for depression or for help with how to deal with it all, did I then begin eating because the thought of having to share with someone face to face and me actually admitting it to a DOCTOR would be more than I could bear as I’ve already said that I hate people thinking I’m not okay because people feeling sorry for me or knowing my business is the worst as they start to feel they have to walk on eggshells around me in case they say something which I do not want and it makes it uncomfortable, I’m not an overly trusting person either. She has recently broken up with her boyfriend which yes I can understand is upsetting seeing as it was her first time and her first boyfriend. This has really upset her and I just feel she perhaps mopes around feeling sorry for herself and making it worse and getting herself upset possibly for attention because she doesnt have her boyfriend to pay her attention anymore im not sure. She then began talking to a good friend of his who he works with, this fell through despite only meeting up twice and texting a bit, they werent attached and they didnt have feelings for each other, yet she is so upset over this. It is aggravated by the amount of work she has because she hasn’t done anything in her first year of sixth form so its her own fault and its just being dragged out as one massive ‘end of the world’ thing when really its only school and a boy. Im not for one minute comparing situations or saying that im worse than her because at the moment im fine, but she has said things like ‘im not sure how much more i can take before im pushed over the edge’ ‘i really cant cope anymore’ ‘my head is a mess’ and i didnt ever ever do that and i just think that its not enough to be that upset about, give it time and everything will get better. She doesn’t realise that I never ever did that and i was suffering so much, but in order to make it better i pretended i was okay and i looked for good things to look forward to and remained optimistic, she isnt and i dont even know what to say anymore. I can’t continue to be sympathetic when frankly she needs to not go on about the same things and think negatively all the time. Rant over.

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