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Rant.

Posted 23rd June 2011 1932

1: I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I cannot stand you. I hope you die. I honestly hope that you die. You piece of shit.
2: What the hell is wrong with you? We haven’t talked in forever and when we do, it’s about you. All about you. I tried coming to you to show you that I would do it… you barely fucking responded. What the hell? I told you that if I ever needed help, I’d come to you. I told you. And what do you do? You text me back ‘I’m sorry.’ Yeah well, so am I. I’m sorry for cutting when I told you I’d stop. I’m sorry for not telling you when I told you I would. I’m sorry for letting you convince me to give him a chance even though I have a boyfriend. But most of all, I’m sorry that you’re going to hate yourself for every last minute of it when I’m gone. That may not be tomorrow, or next week. But I can promise you this, baby: It’ll be a lot sooner than you think. I’m a bitch. I’m being irrational. I’m going to regret it, I know. I know all of the above are true. But I’m so tired of hurting. I’m so tired of feeling pain. I care about you, I really do. we’ve been best friends for 11 years now. Eleven years. That’s a long time, you know? Longggg time. I just… I don’t know what’s wrong with you. But I will admit that I feel like I have no one to talk to because of you. I feel even more alone than I did in the beginning.

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Comments

Posted by Beer Wench 5th July 2011

If you let them define who you are, then you have no identity. Some bridges you just have to burn (or blow the fuck up) or you’ll never be able to stand on your own & find out who you are to YOU. Remember: the only person on this planet you HAVE to please is YOURSELF. If you’re cutting, you’re not really happy with yourself. I know it’s a vent, I know its a release- but at some point you’re going to need more & it could be a whole lot worse than just cutting. Seriel killing is all well & good darlin’ but do you really have the give a shit to keep up with the forensics & staying ahead of the cops? Do yourself a favor & find out what YOU want in life, without influence of this best friend. Otherwise, what’s the point?

Posted by Anonymous 10th August 2011

I used to cut myself, and believe you me, it fucking sucks. Every time you do it you feel confused, guilty, and like you?re betraying somebody. Then you feel like telling somebody about it, which almost seems to make it worse. But the fact is that the only people who even get close to understanding you when you tell them that you cut is others who cut or have cut before.
If you want to get relief from this situation, then try to step back from it a bit. How do you feel most often when you?re around this friend? If you feel negative most of the time then it?s probably a good idea to consider ending it. Cutters don?t handle stress well, and if your friend is acting as added stress, then putting your needs first is more important then a flawed relationship.
People change a lot in eleven years. Remember that at a certain point, your brain sees this relationship as a comfortable pattern. You may want to hold onto this friend because it?s familiar, not because it?s healthy.

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