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Sick of

Fire

Posted 11th January 2014 1523

Okay. First off, I do admit that I’m lazy and my mother has a right to get annoyed at me from time to time because of that trait. And second, I am aware that I’m very lucky for the opportunities I’ve been given from living in a first-world country.

But in all honesty, I am sick of my mother BITCHING about me when she thinks I can’t hear her. Like today for example. I made one tiny, little complain about bring the washing in. I said nothing on the subject afterward and brought it all in. I finish folding it and putting it away then I come into my room to continue writing a fiction - which is due in the near future, might I add. The next thing I hear is my mother “talking” to my father in his office.

We have a very small house and my room is located right beside my father’s office. So, everytime my mother decided to have one of her little fits she ALWAYS goes there and I ALWAYS hear what she says.

She starts ranting about how “lazy” I am, and how I do “nothing but sit at the computer all day”. Like, I’ve already acknowledged that I am lazy. But you never ever hear me throwing a tantrum or really getting into fights about how I don’t want to do stuff. And here’s another thing - I do almost ALL of the jobs in my household, and if I don’t do them I’m helping in some way or another. My father does the cooking in my family and I assist him with that. My mother does the ironing and cleaning up after dinner and I assist her with both of those. My brother feeds the dogs and birds and I assist him with that. On top of helping with their jobs, I do my own which include; washing, folding, sweeping, vacuuming, stacking and unstacking the dishwasher, setting the table, cleaning the table, cleaning the cabinets and a few other jobs that I only have to do every-so-often. But here is my mum, bitching to my father about how I do “nothing” and sit on my ass all day. To top it off she even starts to rant about other unrelated things. For example, she goes on and on about how I “could be getting straight As” if I “actually tried and wasn’t so lazy”!!!

I TRY MY HARDEST AT SCHOOL! Besides Maths which I get a C in, and Japanese which is an A - EVERY OTHER SUBJECT IS A B. THAT IS ABOVE AVERAGE! ISN’T THAT GOOD ENOUGH!? I CAN’T GET AN A IN EVERY SUBJECT BECAUSE I DON’T HAVE THE MENTAL CAPACITY TO DO SO! IT SEEMS AS THOUGH MY MOTHER IS ALWAYS FORGETTING THAT I HAVE SLIGHT ADHD. NORMALLY PARENTS WHO HAVE A CHILD WITH SLIGHT ADHD WOULD BE ECSTATIC FOR THEM IF THEY GOT ABOVE AVERAGE. I’M TRYING MY VERY HARDEST BUT SHE DOESN’T RECOGNIZE THAT.

WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO TO GET MY MOTHER TO FINALLY UNDERSTAND THAT?! SHE’S NEVER ONCE THOUGHT ABOUT HOW I FEEL WHEN SHE SAYS I “CAN DO MUCH BETTER”! I’VE TRIED EXPLAINING THIS TO HER MANY TIMES BUT SHE SAYS I’M JUST BEING LAZY! AREN’T PARENTS MEANT TO BE SUPPORTIVE OF THEIR CHILDREN AND BELIEVE THEM WHEN THEY’RE SAYING THEY’RE TRYING THEIR BEST?! AREN’T PARENTS MEANT TO TAKE CARE OF THEIR CHILDREN AND NOT COMPARE THEM TO OTHER PEOPLE AND SAY: “WHY CAN’T YOU BE MORE LIKE HER”, “WHY CAN’T YOU WORK AS HARD AS HER” AND “WHY CAN’T YOU GET AN A IN EVERY SUBJECT LIKE HER”. IF THAT IS YOUR IDEA OF TRYING TO ENCOURAGE ME WELL I’LL TELL YOU WHAT: THAT WAY OF SO-CALLED “ENCOURAGEMENT” DOES NOT HELP ME, IT HURTS ME.

I really long for the days where I could work up the courage and say this to her face but I can’t. If I even say something that my mother doesn’t like or thinks I’m being a brat by saying so I get grounded.

I really do love my parents, and I’d do anything that is in my power for them. I also know my parents spoil me by buying me things I like on occasions. But that one thing that I really wish for is that mum would just recognize the things I do and how hard I work. I keep telling myself that I only have 2 more years of school and then I can move out. If I attend university I’ll have to stay at my parents and it’ll add to the years, but I know after that I can be free from all this. I will keep in contact with them, but I wonder - will I really be able to keep on going here without breaking?

I feel better for letting that out. Thank you to whoever read that until the end. :)

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